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Fed Up
Mar 7, 2007 9:33:37 GMT
Post by possom on Mar 7, 2007 9:33:37 GMT
I'm going to post this here although for those of you that feel you know me quite well will understand I may well change my mind again in a few days time I'm thinking of quitting teaching. Am getting fed up of being there for other people's kids all the time and not for my own. I teach until 7 4 nights a week and my children see both grandparents on Monday and Tuesday and go to a childminders on Wednesday and Thursday. I teach every other Friday and Saturday mornings also. I'm thinking of cutting down to 5/6 pupils and trying to get a part time job in a school or temping as a secretary. If I can't do that i've been told I can go to UEA to finish my music degree (which would fit in with family). Odd thing is, teaching has been going really well, good results, happy pupils, happy parents. I just feel it's time for a priority change even if it's just for a few years. Does this happen to everyone, and if so what do you do about it?
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Fed Up
Mar 7, 2007 14:50:29 GMT
Post by mitch on Mar 7, 2007 14:50:29 GMT
Do you know, it's one of the most difficult things...juggling it all. I'm afraid I went very selfish and now do what I want to do that fits in with me. Turning 40 has made me more confident with that decision. How about cutting out Saturday teaching? I've done that, and that gives me a nice, free weekend. (well nearly, only one more pupil left to move, so waiting for them to change swim lesson e.t.c !!) Also, try to merge the lessons into 3 evening instead of 4? I know, easier said than done. It would be a shame as it is lovely being your own boss. My eldest is 17 now, so I don't have the problem with childminders, and they just get on with homework or whatever. Financially, would the daytime job pay better after you have travelled to and fro and left yourself with less time for you? Hmm...no rash decisions Possum!
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Fed Up
Mar 7, 2007 22:37:27 GMT
Post by Steve Hopwood on Mar 7, 2007 22:37:27 GMT
I feel guilty that I did not spend time with my (now 29 year old) son Paul, when he was little. There were events that I did not attend because I was the only one earning any cash, and that cash had to keep rolling in. Paul has subsequently stated that he loved all the kids coming to and fro. He has told me that he loved listening to the sounds coming from the music room; they were a part of his childhood. I can only offer this possum. If I had my time again, would I do it differently? Yes, I would. I would find more time to spend with Paul. Paul seems happy enough with his upbringing; I am the one who feels we both lost out. Our kids are not little for long. Find ways of making the most of them whilst you can. If that means sacrificing some pupils, then so be it; they will all leave you sooner or later anyway. I cannot even remember most of the kids I taught whilst Paul was growing up, yet they were very special at the time.
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Fed Up
Mar 7, 2007 23:36:43 GMT
Post by mitch on Mar 7, 2007 23:36:43 GMT
Yeah, they are not little for long! They soon grow up. That's what helped me decide to spend more time with my kids instead of full time work. The figures financially worked out and in fact, doing part time school teaching worked out more hours with potentially less pay then my piano teaching. I should have explained that being selfish, for me, meant spending more time with my kids and not doing full time teaching because that is what I want to do. (When I re read my post, it doesn't really explain that. Sometimes I'm not good at explaining myself that well). I actually refused to do full time and was ready to sell the house if it didn't work out financially, as I just missed the kids too much. The stick I got from friends e.t.c. 'how could I not use my PGCE? What will I do instead?' I work Mondays 2p.m. onwards 'till 9p.m. (fitting in a school run and cooking tea). Then Tues ,Weds and Thurs evenings and only have 11 pupils at the moment. I will increase hours when I want (or need to). The thing is, I'm my own boss, and if I worked part time in a school, they throw all sorts at you, meetings e.t.c. and you gradually get sucked in with more hours and commitment to them. See if you can rejuggle your lessons to free up more time to spend with your children but being your own boss enables you juggle your own hours without having to ask permission. When you want to increase your hours then you can. It's having control that I would find hard to let go.
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Fed Up
Mar 7, 2007 23:47:52 GMT
Post by Steve Hopwood on Mar 7, 2007 23:47:52 GMT
Just so you know Mitch; it seemed obvious to me in your first contribution to this thread meant that you were being more selfish by spending more time with your kids. I just thought you might like to know this.
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Fed Up
Mar 8, 2007 9:01:11 GMT
Post by possom on Mar 8, 2007 9:01:11 GMT
Thanks I feel alot better than I did yesterday, i'm not sure why but I felt that my teaching would have to be all or nothing. My husband asked junior what he thought about me quitting and he also replied, why not do Tuesday evenings and Saturday mornings? I think that will be the way to go, possibly find something during the mornings too as they're both at school after Easter. I can only describe how I felt yesterday as a massive feeling of being used. Suddenly felt like all I do is be there for other peoples children and really cheesed me off. Maybe this is a wake up call to do more things for myself as well as the family
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Fed Up
Mar 8, 2007 10:00:05 GMT
Post by mitch on Mar 8, 2007 10:00:05 GMT
Just so you know Mitch; it seemed obvious to me in your first contribution to this thread meant that you were being more selfish by spending more time with your kids. I just thought you might like to know this. :)Thanks Steve. So I'm not as dumb as I think? ...don't even dare to reply to that!!! ;D ;D You sound alot happier today Possum. Yeah, the kids are not around for long so make the most of it. I cannot believe my eldest will be at uni in approx 18 months!!! I'm really gonna miss him.
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Fed Up
Mar 8, 2007 11:04:29 GMT
Post by jod on Mar 8, 2007 11:04:29 GMT
Possum, my kids are proud of me because of what I do. At present I work very limited hours as I need to spend time with them too. However I would not give up the teaching it balances my life!
However your domestic situation is different from mine, try to keep the teaching up for your own sanity. My mum worked at home and my sister and I were quite happy drawing pictures on used computer paper.
It is not selfish thinking of yourself as well as your kids. To be a content parent you need to find that contentment first. "Me time" is important. It refuels you and gives you the capacity you need to insure that the time you do spend with your family is quality time.
Jo
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Fed Up
Mar 25, 2007 12:52:53 GMT
Post by possom on Mar 25, 2007 12:52:53 GMT
Thanks for your replies everyone I'm now in a better state of mind to reply, I think i've just been existing the past 2 weeks because things have been so hectic and my head has been all over the place. I spoke to the children and the eldest suggested I just teach 2 evenings a week because that way they can still go and see grandparents and the childminders (they said they will miss the children there which is fair enough). I have spoken to all of my pupils and let them know that after the summer I will be cutting down and have told the ones that have to go some recommended teachers. Luckily everyone has understood where i'm coming from and been really good about it. I think that the past 2 weeks have been so stressful that I just wanted to get away from it all and quit completely which I understand now is natural when you feel you can't cope. My last week has consisted of:- accompanying a grade 8 clarinet after only getting the music 10 days beforehand taking my own grade 8 singing the day after being at our local music festival on both days and the day after (accompanying people). preparing my own pupils for their exams thursday just gone and tomorrow. playing at last minute for a meal last night and a church service this morning (sight-reading the hymns in front of 300+ people). On top of this I have been decorating and it doesn't help when the house is a mess. I'm not after the sympathy vote, it's just that the busiest time of the year has hit me when I was at a low. The Easter holiday is really going to help me charge my batteries and i'll be fighting fit again next term, all looks rosy again now
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